His Needs, Her Needs
by Willard F. Harley Jr.
The 'love bank' and ten emotional needs (affection, conversation, honesty, financial support, family commitment, sexual fulfilment, recreational companionship, domestic support, admiration, attractiveness), with the claim that unmet needs lead to affairs. Gendered and dated in framing; the needs inventory remains widely used.
Read it if…
you want a needs inventory to discuss with your spouse.
See the book →
Skip it if…
the gender assumptions put you off; they are strong.
Try instead: Love Busters →
Three things you will actually use
- Deposits and withdrawals: the love bank.
- Meet the top needs or someone else will.
- Honesty is a need, not a policy.
Do this first
Each rank the ten needs separately, then compare.
Our verdict
The needs inventory.
See the book →
Compare with other Relationships books
The Meaning of Marriage
Timothy Keller with Kathy Keller · Relationships
A theology of marriage.
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