Hold On to Your Kids
by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Maté
The argument that children increasingly attach to peers rather than parents, and that peer orientation produces anxiety, aggression and shallow learning. The authors describe how to reclaim the attachment: collect the child before directing, create rituals, limit peer time, be the compass point. It is persuasive and sometimes alarmist.
Read it if…
your child seems to care more about friends' opinions than yours and you feel you are losing them.
Skip it if…
you find the premise overstated; it is in places.
Three things you will actually use
- Attachment is the context for parenting; protect it.
- Peers cannot parent each other.
- Rituals and one-on-one time rebuild the bond.
Do this first
Collect before you direct: connect warmly for a minute before any instruction.
Our verdict
Persuasive and worth considering.
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