How to Know a Person
by David Brooks
Brooks' book on the skill of seeing others: being an 'illuminator' rather than a 'diminisher,' asking better questions, accompanying people through hard times, understanding how someone's story and background shape how they see. It is warm, humble about the author's own failures, and practical in a quiet way.
Read it if…
you are competent at tasks and clumsy with people and want to change that.
Skip it if…
you want tactical conversation scripts; this is more philosophy of attention than technique.
Three things you will actually use
- Be an illuminator: make people feel seen.
- Ask big questions and follow up.
- Learn how a person perceives, not just what they think.
Do this first
In your next conversation, ask one question that begins with 'what was it like' and listen to the whole answer.
Our verdict
Gentle and humane; a book that makes you a better listener.
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