Leadership and Self-Deception
by The Arbinger Institute
A fable about 'being in the box': seeing people as obstacles or objects, which they sense and respond to in kind. The book shows how self-deception poisons leadership and marriage alike, and how to get out by seeing people as people. Readers often find it uncomfortably personal, which is the point.
Read it if…
you keep having the same conflicts with different people and suspect the common factor is you.
Skip it if…
you dislike parables or want tactical management advice.
Three things you will actually use
- Notice when you justify yourself; that is the box.
- Honor the small impulse to help before you talk yourself out of it.
- Fix how you see people before you fix how you handle them.
Do this first
Think of one person you are frustrated with and write down what they might need that you have been ignoring.
Our verdict
A disarming little book about blame; it reads quickly and lingers.
Compare with other Character books
How Will You Measure Your Life?
Clayton M. Christensen · Character
Short, grave and clear; a good book to read every few years.
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12 Rules for Life
Jordan B. Peterson · Character
Dense, divisive and influential; useful rules, long sermons.
CLICK TO SEEBrowse all Character book reviews or get the free Reality Code Cheat Sheet.
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