Never Split the Difference
by Chris Voss
A former FBI hostage negotiator teaches tactical empathy: mirroring, labeling emotions, calibrated questions like 'how am I supposed to do that,' and the power of getting to 'no.' The stories are gripping and the tools work in salary talks and family arguments. It is a rare negotiation book that is both practical and fun.
Read it if…
you negotiate anything, from raises to bedtimes, and were taught to split the difference.
Skip it if…
you want a comprehensive negotiation theory; this is a field manual.
Three things you will actually use
- Mirror the last three words and let silence work.
- Label emotions to defuse them.
- Ask 'how' questions to make them solve your problem.
Do this first
In your next disagreement, label the other person's emotion out loud ('it sounds like you're frustrated') and wait.
Our verdict
The most useful negotiation book for ordinary life; immediately applicable.
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