Self-Compassion
by Kristin Neff
Neff's research shows that treating yourself with kindness in failure produces more motivation and resilience than self-criticism does, contrary to what most achievers believe. The book explains the three components, self-kindness, common humanity, mindfulness, with exercises. It is scientific, warm and quietly radical for driven readers.
Read it if…
you are hard on yourself and assume that is why you succeed.
Skip it if…
you are looking for toughness training; this will feel soft, and it is meant to.
Three things you will actually use
- Speak to yourself as you would to a friend.
- Remember everyone fails; you are not uniquely flawed.
- Notice the pain without exaggerating it.
Do this first
After the next mistake, write what you would say to a friend in the same spot, then read it to yourself.
Our verdict
Research-backed and gentle; a corrective many high performers need and avoid.
Compare with other Confidence books
How to Do the Work
Dr. Nicole LePera · Confidence
Accessible and well-meaning; a starting point, with a professional for the rest.
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The Gifts of Imperfection
Brené Brown · Confidence
Short, kind and foundational; a good first Brown.
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