Why Does He Do That?
by Lundy Bancroft
A counselor who worked with abusive men for fifteen years explains how they think: abuse is about entitlement and control, not anger or trauma, the types of abusers, the myths, why they rarely change, and how to assess whether one has. It is the most clarifying book on the subject and is often the one that helps women see their situation.
Read it if…
you are confused by a partner's behavior and keep wondering if it is your fault.
Skip it if…
the subject does not apply; but consider whether someone you love needs it.
Three things you will actually use
- Abuse is about control, not loss of control.
- Entitlement, not anger, is the root.
- Real change is rare and has specific markers; know them.
Do this first
Read the chapter on myths; if you recognize your relationship, contact a domestic violence resource.
Our verdict
Clarifying and important.
Compare with other Relationships books
Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay
Mira Kirshenbaum · Relationships
Direct and useful for the stuck.
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Boundaries in Marriage
Henry Cloud and John Townsend · Relationships
Practical and widely used.
CLICK TO SEEBrowse all Relationships book reviews or get the free Reality Code Cheat Sheet.
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