1-2-3 Magic
by Thomas W. Phelan
A simple counting method for stopping unwanted behavior in two-to-twelve-year-olds, plus strategies for encouraging good behavior and strengthening the relationship. It is behavioral, clear and easy to implement, with firm rules about no talking and no emotion during counting. Effective for many; it is not a connection-based approach.
Read it if…
you want a simple, consistent discipline system you can start today.
Skip it if…
you prefer relational or collaborative approaches; see Greene or Siegel.
Three things you will actually use
- No talking, no emotion when counting.
- Be consistent; the method relies on it.
- Spend the saved energy on positive time.
Do this first
Explain the counting system to your child calmly, then use it exactly as described for one week.
Our verdict
Simple and consistent; a behavioral classic.
Compare with other Parenting books
The Anxious Generation
Jonathan Haidt · Parenting
Urgent and debated; whatever the final science, the norms are reasonable.
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