Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child
by John Gottman with Joan DeClaire
Gottman's five steps of emotion coaching: be aware of the child's emotion, see it as an opportunity for connection, listen and validate, help label the feeling, set limits while solving problems. The research shows emotion-coached children regulate better and do better socially and academically. Clear and practical.
Read it if…
you want a research-based method for handling your child's feelings.
Skip it if…
you want discipline techniques; this is about emotions first.
Three things you will actually use
- Emotions are opportunities, not interruptions.
- Validate feelings; limit behavior.
- Labeling calms the nervous system.
Do this first
Next time your child is upset, name the feeling before doing anything else.
Our verdict
Clear and evidence-based.
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