Raising Cain
by Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson
Two psychologists on the emotional lives of boys: the culture of cruelty among peers, emotional illiteracy trained by shame, the costs in anger, depression and disconnection, and what parents and schools can do. It is more clinical and research-based than Biddulph and especially strong on adolescence.
Read it if…
you want to understand the emotional pressures on boys and how to counter them.
Skip it if…
you want a how-to for young children; this is school age and up.
Three things you will actually use
- Boys are taught to hide feeling; teach the opposite.
- Shame is the tool of the culture of cruelty; refuse it.
- Connection with a parent protects through adolescence.
Do this first
Ask your son how he felt about something today, and wait through the silence.
Our verdict
Serious and important.
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