Siblings Without Rivalry
by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
How to reduce fighting between siblings: do not compare, treat children uniquely rather than equally, let them express negative feelings about each other, avoid roles (the smart one, the difficult one), and step back from fights with a structured approach. It is specific and immediately applicable.
Read it if…
your children fight constantly and you keep refereeing.
Skip it if…
you have one child.
Three things you will actually use
- Equal is not fair; unique is.
- Acknowledge hostile feelings; do not ban them.
- Do not assign roles; children grow into them.
Do this first
Stop comparing for one week, even positively; notice the difference.
Our verdict
Specific and effective.
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