Eight Dates
by John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams
Eight structured conversations for couples, trust, conflict, sex, money, family, play, growth and dreams, each with preparation, questions and a suggested date. It is lighter than Seven Principles and designed to be done, not just read. Good for new couples and long-married ones alike.
Read it if…
you and your partner want a guided way to talk about the things you avoid.
Skip it if…
only one of you is willing; it requires both.
Three things you will actually use
- One conversation per date; do not rush.
- Ask open questions and listen without fixing.
- Repeat the dates yearly; answers change.
Do this first
Schedule the first date, trust and commitment, for this week and read the chapter beforehand.
Our verdict
Practical and doable; conversations that matter.
Compare with other Relationships books
Getting the Love You Want
Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt · Relationships
Influential and useful; held as a lens.
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The Five Love Languages
Gary Chapman · Relationships
Simple and widely useful; take it as a tool.
CLICK TO SEEBrowse all Relationships book reviews or get the free Reality Code Cheat Sheet.
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