How to Think More About Sex
by Alain de Botton
De Botton on why sex is awkward, what desire reveals, the problems of lack and excess, and how long-term partners might think about it more intelligently. It is philosophical, mildly funny and more honest than the genre usually permits.
Read it if…
you want to think about desire rather than be told how to perform.
Skip it if…
you want technique; there is none.
Three things you will actually use
- Desire is a response to being accepted.
- Lack and excess are both problems of meaning.
- Long-term desire needs distance to cross.
Do this first
Read the chapter on 'the pleasures of adultery' and discuss its argument with your partner, carefully.
Our verdict
Thinking, not technique.
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