The State of Affairs
by Esther Perel
Infidelity reconsidered: why people in good marriages cheat, what affairs are seeking (aliveness, autonomy, a lost self), how to survive one, and whether some couples come out stronger. Perel does not condone; she explains, and the explanation is uncomfortable and useful.
Read it if…
you are dealing with an affair on either side and want more than condemnation.
Skip it if…
you want a verdict; she refuses to give one.
Three things you will actually use
- Affairs are often about the self, not the partner.
- Betrayal has a story; hear it before judging it.
- Recovery is possible and not guaranteed.
Do this first
Read the chapter on what affairs mean before the chapter on what to do.
Our verdict
Infidelity, explained.
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