Intimacy & Desire
by David Schnarch
Schnarch's differentiation theory: desire problems are normal in committed relationships because the low-desire partner always controls sex, and the way through is 'holding on to yourself' rather than fusing. Demanding, unsentimental and more honest than most sex books.
Read it if…
you are the low- or high-desire partner and tired of the standoff.
See the book →
Skip it if…
you want techniques; this is about selfhood.
Try instead: The Relationship Handbook →
Three things you will actually use
- The low-desire partner always controls sex.
- Differentiation: hold onto yourself in connection.
- Desire grows from selfhood, not from technique.
Do this first
Read the chapter on the low-desire partner and the four points of balance.
Our verdict
Desire as differentiation.
See the book →
Compare with other Relationships books
Magnificent Sex
Peggy J. Kleinplatz and A. Dana Ménard · Relationships
Great sex, researched.
CLICK TO SEEBrowse all Relationships book reviews or get the free Reality Code Cheat Sheet.
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