The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read
by Philippa Perry
A psychotherapist on the relationship, not the technique: how your own childhood shapes your reactions, rupture and repair, feelings as the center of parenting, and the mistake of training behavior while ignoring the person. It is wise, candid about her own failures and useful at every stage of parenting.
Read it if…
you keep reacting to your child in ways you recognize from your parents.
Skip it if…
you want behavioral tactics; this is relational.
Three things you will actually use
- Your past is in the room; notice it.
- Rupture is inevitable; repair is the skill.
- Validate feelings; the behavior follows.
Do this first
Next time you overreact, apologize to your child specifically and name what happened in you.
Our verdict
Wise and humane.
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