The Relationship Cure
by John M. Gottman and Joan DeClaire
Gottman's bid-and-response model applied to all relationships, partners, children, friends, colleagues: people make small bids for connection and the other turns toward, away or against, and the pattern predicts the relationship. It includes self-tests and exercises and is the most useful Gottman book beyond marriage.
Read it if…
you want to improve connection in several relationships, not only romantic.
Skip it if…
you want the marriage research; see Seven Principles.
Three things you will actually use
- Notice bids; most are small and easy to miss.
- Turning toward is the habit that builds trust.
- Bids come in disguise; look for the need beneath.
Do this first
Count your partner's or child's bids today and turn toward every one.
Our verdict
Broadly useful.
Compare with other Relationships books
Why Marriages Succeed or Fail
John Gottman with Nan Silver · Relationships
Early version; still diagnostic.
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