Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship
by Terrence Real
Real's relational life therapy: the adaptive child versus the wise adult, moving from you-and-me to us, repairing after rupture. Direct and useful for couples.
Read it if…
you and your partner keep fighting the same fight.
See the book →
Skip it if…
you want attachment theory first; see Hold Me Tight.
Try instead: Fierce Intimacy →
Three things you will actually use
- Shift from me to us.
- Your adaptive child is running the fight.
- Repair, repeatedly.
Do this first
Read the chapter on the adaptive child.
Our verdict
From you and me to us.
See the book →
Compare with other Relationships books
I Hate You—Don't Leave Me
Jerold J. Kreisman and Hal Straus · Relationships
Understanding BPD.
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