Come as You Are
by Emily Nagoski
A sex educator's research-based explanation of women's sexual response, the dual-control model of accelerators and brakes, responsive versus spontaneous desire, context, and stress, with the message that there is nothing wrong with you. It is warm, scientific and has changed many relationships.
Read it if…
you or your partner feel broken about desire and want the actual science.
Skip it if…
you want technique; it is about understanding first.
Three things you will actually use
- Brakes matter more than accelerators; reduce them.
- Responsive desire is normal, not a problem.
- Context changes everything.
Do this first
List what hits your brakes and what hits your accelerator, and share both with your partner.
Our verdict
Warm, scientific, liberating.
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